My List

Posted on November 3, 2011


As long as I can remember, I’ve avoided making goals for myself.  Why?  Because I don’t want to fail.  Having a goal and not achieving it is worse than having no goals at all.  Goals are too big commitments.  I can just drift aimlessly and see where life takes me.  That way, at least I won’t be disappointed.  Know where that got me?  *pause… stare*  Exactly.  Having no goals means I have no ambitions, drive, point, destination… and if I don’t know where I’m going, I go nowhere. And my life feels wasted.  I’m almost 30 and I haven’t done much of anything with myself.

Last year, I seem to have tricked myself and made an inadvertent goal which landed me in school.  So now I have one goal.  A major one.  A career.  It’s hard to believe I did that; it’s so unlike me.  And it just sort of… happened.  Somewhat spontaneously.  “Okay, this is what I want to do.  I’m doing it.”  Terrifying.

So the other day, I came across a blog that has inspired me to make some more goals.  Things that I always thought would be cool to do, but never sat down and decided to make a goal out of it (because goals are scary.  You really have no idea how daunting the word “goal” is to me.  It’s enough to send shivers up my spine.).  This list is basically a “bucket list”; things I’d like to have accomplished, achieved and experienced in my lifetime.  “Bucket list”, though, sounds so grim.  The aforementioned blog talks about choosing to really live, just for the sake of life, as opposed to living like you’re going to die.  So instead of calling this a “bucket list” (*cringe, cringe*), I’m going to call it my “Life List” (I must attribute it to sweet Melanie at Living Aloha for the fitting name).  I’m going to update it, add more, scratch out the things I’ve accomplished and so on.  So it’s a living list as well.  Here goes.  Are we ready? *holds breath* (really, this is a huge step for me)

[I’ve moved the list to its own tab in my home page, so it will be easier for me to update. You can see it here.]

Posted in: adventure